Present in the Moment…….

Recently I booked myself on an Alaskan cruise for my 50th birthday next year.   I’ve been very excited and watching the countdown I downloaded to my computer constantly.  As I was glancing at it the other night, I realized how many days had gone by since I first downloaded it.  It was then that I realized how fast time had gone by.  As I’ve become older, I’ve noticed this more so but for some reason this time it really struck me.  Before I know it the trip will be here and then over.  That’s when I decided I really needed to be present now in my life.  My job has a tendency of making me constantly looking forward, forward, FORWARD and I have to slow down!

I took a moment and looked back and realized:

  • I will have had Charlie, my dog, for 6 years.  He was so small when I got him and he was constantly at my side.  35 pounds later he’s still at my side.
  • My 6 year anniversary at the hotel will be this Friday.  I remember when we first re-opened, we were saying how fun it will be in 4 years when the hotel has its Centennial.  That was now 2 years ago.
  • My nieces are now 13 and almost 17.  I remember the youngest one sleeping on my chest a few weeks after she was born and the oldest one sleeping with me in my bed the first time she stayed with me because she was scared to sleep alone.

Looking back I realize I wasn’t “present” to enjoy these moments.  I got up, drove to work, worked for 10 hours or more and drove home, day after day.  I’m still doing that now but I want to slow down a bit and look around at my surroundings and enjoy the people I’m with.

Maybe I’ve become more aware of this as well since my parents are getting ready to celebrate their 50th Wedding Anniversary in a month and a half.  With aging parents, it’s never easy to watch them getting older but it’s important to spend time with them and appreciate them.  I’m lucky enough to be able to spend Sunday’s with them, when I’m not working.  It started over 25 years ago after I moved out.  I would go over their to do laundry when I lived in my apartment because I didn’t want to use the laundry room in my complex and it’s something I’ve done ever since.

I guess it all goes back to my previous post, “Take Time….”  Sometimes, you have to stop, take a deep breath and just BE in the moment.

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Please, thank you and other archaic common courtesies…..

Recently I’ve come to notice that common courtesies like please and thank you don’t seem to be around much anymore.  This post will probably turn into a rant but it’s something that has been bothering me for some time.

When I was young and I received a gift from an out of town family member, I was told I needed to send them a thank you note.  Now this was done the old fashioned way of writing it on a card and sending it through snail mail.  Now a days we have email and text as a way of communicating  and even with these modern conveniences, they still get missed.

  • In my previous post on Online Dating, I’ve noticed that even if you don’t know someone,  most of the guys I’ve complimented or emailed, can’t even hit the “not interested button”.  They just ignore the message or block me.
  • Another pet peeve I have is people not waiting for people to get off the elevator before they get on.  Or how about letting ladies get off the elevator first.
  • Thanking someone for doing a good job in a tough or stressful situation.

I’m sure I have more but these are the first few that came to mind.

Let me know what some of yours are.

 

My second post……what to talk about – Online Dating

Subject:  Online Dating…..okay talk amongst yourselves.

This is something I have done off and on for several years.  The stories I could tell you about the people these sites thought would be good for me.  eHarmony thought a guy who had pictures of himself in different poses showing all his tattoos and long hair was a perfect match for me.

Another match was pretty nice.  We talked on the phone and agreed to meet for coffee.  Once we got there and sat down, I noticed his hands were dry, scaly and peeling.  In my mind I’m thinking, “there’s no way I’m letting him touch me”.  As we started talking I learned his last name and he began telling me about his late wife who had died of cancer.  He told me he was still using the services of hospice for himself that I thought was a little odd but okay.

When I got home I did a little detective work and found his wife’s obituary in the paper.  I found out she had just died the month before.  CREEPY!  I’m all for getting on with your life, but that was too soon for me and I ended any further communication.   After that, cancelled my subscription.

Recently I’ve started up with Match.com.  Late last year I found a guy, who on paper, looked perfect.  Should have been a red flag but I didn’t want to be judgemental.  We met for dinner and I learned he lived close to me and his mom, whom he was close to, lived even closer to me.  We talked a couple of times on the phone, texted and agreed to meet for dinner again.  This time it was at a nice Chinese restaurant.  Dinner was nice and as we were saying goodbye in the parking lot, we kissed goodbye.  That was nice and we parted.  We talked more and met again for dinner but this time I gave him directions to my house.  Well, this is when the red flags should have really gone up but I ignored them, again.  I wasn’t sure how my dog was going to react to him so we did a gradual introduction.  Charlie did not like him at all.  He didn’t bit him but barked  a lot.  We sat down on the couch and Charlie came right up and sat between us.  I have never seen him so protective of me.

To make a long story short (too late!), we progressed in the relationship and then I made the decision to ask him where he saw us going.  He said, “We can see each other and hook up until we find what we’re looking for”.  That was the end.  I told him I wasn’t in for a casual affair; I’m too old for that and quite honestly, so was he.  This was on my birthday.  A few days later on Thanksgiving he texted me to see if I had changed my mind and wanted to hook up.  I said no; he already made me feel cheap and like a hooker.  His response, “A hooker gets paid”.  That was our last communication.

Nine months later, I’ve signed up for the 6 month guarantee Match.com is offering.  You have to have an active profile, send out 5 emails each month and have photos on your profile.  I’m on day 24 of 30, sent out 6 emails and haven’t heard back from anyone.  Is common courtesy dead in today’s society?  If you get my email, read my profile and aren’t interested, just hit the “thanks, but I’m not interested” button.  It’s that simple.  I don’t even need an explanation.   And there’s no need to hide your profile.

Oh and those that respond and want you to correspond outside of Match, run, don’t walk.  Nine times out of ten they are scammers living in another country.  I’ve seen two of them on a scammers website, thanks to an episode of Anderson Cooper.

Enough about online dating.  Time to come up with a topic for my next blog.

Talk amongst yourselves…….